In our achievement-oriented society, failure is not viewed positively. Employers, teachers, parents, and others praise success. Some people are supportive and empathetic when someone fails at any given task. Many people are not, however. So, we end up conditioned to want to be seen as adept and skilled all the time. We prefer to hide any hint of failure or lack of competency.
Unfortunately, this attitude often leads to stagnation. It inhibits our ability to grow, change, and adapt. It affects all aspects of life: education, career, relationships.
What is a Fixed Mindset?
People who hold a fixed mindset are terrified of being seen as unintelligent, inept, or incapable. They believe that their abilities are locked into place. This belief prevents them from growth. They’d rather look smart than accept weaknesses as an invitation to improve.
The only feedback they want is that which will confirm their current strengths and performance. Research has actually shown that people with a fixed mindset would rather lie to friends about so-so test results than be honest. No matter their performance, they can’t see that it is possible to stretch and train their minds to be even better. They believe the negative messages in their heads. They’d rather stagnate than improve.
A fixed mindset, obviously, does not lead to greater success in any area. The irony is that when someone wants to be seen a certain way, even though they aren’t, they are inhibited from actual growth into what they want to be.
Of course, all people, especially children, are eager for praise and positive feedback. No one wants to be exposed as weak or dumb. Crucially, teachers and parents can make all the difference in how a child views their abilities. The type of feedback and input children receive shapes their beliefs about what they are capable of. This fact is both frightening and exciting. It’s frightening because the wrong message from adults can prevent a child from neural flexibility and growth as they develop. It’s exciting because the opposite is also true.
What is a Growth Mindset?
In contrast to the limiting fixed mindset, a growth mindset allows for a more open attitude about failure and growth. A growth mindset leads people to be curious about the process of learning and failing. Rather than lie about who they are in order to avoid being seen as weak, they will embrace challenges as an opportunity to improve. They are open to receiving feedback about what they did wrong because it will help them do better next time.
People with a growth mindset view failure as an opportunity. They see failure as a positive challenge that will lead to eventual success. Rather than be discouraged, they try to accept difficulties as interesting puzzles to be fixed. Ultimately, a growth mindset leads to more success and accomplishment.
Is it Possible to Change?
Fortunately, it is possible to change our mindset. Even if we’ve been trained in our earliest years to hold a fixed mindset, we can learn to confront those false messages. It is never too late to re-train the brain and its attitude toward possibility. We can cultivate the power of a growth mindset.
The benefits extend across the lifespan. Learning and growing throughout life is crucial. It begins in the vital years of early development and brain adaptability. Maintaining healthy relationships, parenting children, and developing a career all require great flexibility and willingness to learn. Those who hold a growth mindset can remain positive and curious even into the last decades of their lives. Believing that failure is a stepping stone to success allows for continual self-improvement.
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Are you ready to confront the limits of a fixed mindset? Read more about the role of spirituality counseling, how it can benefit you, and connect you to others. I encourage you to reach out today for a free phone consultation. Together, we can help you learn to embrace life’s challenges and be stronger and smarter on the other side!