When you are in a serious relationship, communication is one of the most important skills. However, couples may believe they do not need to concentrate on communication if they are always in each other's company.
It is wonderful to feel able to talk about anything with your romantic partner. Whether something good or bad happens, knowing you can lean on each other is crucial.
A lack of communication can lead to trouble, resentment, and unwanted changes in the relationship. Here are five ways to deepen communication with your partner and stay close as a couple.
1. Practice Active Listening
While talking is very important in a relationship, it is also just as important to listen. Stay curious and open-minded, pushing aside judgment and assumptions.
Listening involves paying attention to your partner's tone, words, facial expressions, and body language. Be intentional about maintaining a safe space for you and your partner to hear each other out. This will firmly establish a practice that will bring you closer together.
2. Reveal Rather Than Avoid Your Feelings
In order to deepen emotional intimacy, maintain a high level of vulnerability. This involves sharing feelings that you may feel anxious about revealing. Use those feelings of uncertainty as information for growing closer. Try not to avoid or dismiss them.
If you need help opening up, try journaling your feelings first. A bit of introspection can help your gain clarity and give you a foundation for discussions you want to have. If you feel your partner is receptive you can write each other letters or communicate in other ways to ease you into deeper communication. A therapist might be able to provide more ideas too.
3. Address Problems Instead of Falling into Blame
It is easy for a discussion between two loving people to turn into a debate. We tend to think that in order to get our point across, it means "winning" arguments. In truth, criticizing or blaming can lead to resentment.
Keep conversations focused on sharing feelings and the issue at hand. Do your best to fully address problems between you with your relationship health in mind. Conflict is tricky for the closest couples, if there are unresolved issues that tend to come up repeatedly, sessions with a counselor can help clear the air and deepen your connection.
4. Express Your Wants
Telling your partner what you want may be easier during good times than others. However, it's important to make a practice of intentional sharing. Your bond is strengthened by checking in with each other and sharing your wants as they shift and change.
The best way to phrase your wants? Start positively with a phrase like, "I want to be affectionate with you." Then as you share more, just keep in mind that the goal is to communicate rather than complain. Expressing wants will bring you closer to giving your partner insight into your goals for the relationship.
5. Respond with Respect
Often, anger can bring out the worst in us. It can make us sarcastic, irritable, bossy, demanding, and more. Even in conflict, your behavior can communicate that you honor your relationship first. If you want your relationship to stay close, prize respectful interaction with your partner. No matter how angry you are at them, your tone of voice and body language needs to show your love.
Finally, it's important to understand that every relationship will have periods of closeness and distance. The key is to prepare well for those seasons with healthy expression.
Keeping the connection alive between you and your partner can best be shored up with guidance and commitment to deepening your level of communication. Seeking counseling for couples can provide you with the tools you need to strengthen your marriage. Please reach out to us to schedule your first appointment.