Boundaries are an essential part of all types of healthy relationships. If this is the case, why don't more people set them?
Unfortunately, to a lot of people, boundaries may seem like a harsh ask. It feels like you're drawing a line down the middle of the room and telling someone to keep to their side while you keep to yours. But boundaries don't have to play out in this way.
Boundaries help protect your overall mental health and wellness. They also ensure that your wants and needs are being met and that you feel respected and valued in every relationship.
Here are 6 signs you need to enforce boundaries in your relationship.
1. You Have a Hard Time Saying "No" Even When You Want To
If you constantly say "yes" or feel the need to say "yes" to activities, hangouts, or events, even if you don't really want to attend them, it's a telltale sign that boundaries must be implemented or reinforced.
Saying "no" doesn't have to be a bad thing. It's completely acceptable to say no to others occasionally. No one expects you to accept every single invite or offer that comes your way. You have to make sure that you're taking the time to check in with yourself and what's already on your plate before taking something else on.
2. You Feel Guilty For Asking For Your Wants and Needs
If you feel guilty for wanting to implement boundaries, this is a huge sign that you probably haven't implemented or reinforced the boundaries you've tried to set. There is nothing wrong with communicating your wants and needs to others. If you allow others to communicate their wants and needs, you deserve the same level of communication and respect. If someone isn't reciprocating any of the boundaries you want to set, it speaks more about them than it does about you. You and everyone else in the world should be able to have boundaries without feeling any guilt.
3. The Relationships in Your Life Feel Hard
People without boundaries tend to have less rewarding relationships. They can feel resentment towards friends and family members for crossing unspoken boundaries.
If you've noticed building frustration in your relationships, it's time to voice boundaries and enforce them.
4. You're Experiencing Burn Out
Everyone experiences a little stress and anxiety, but if you've been feeling more stress and anxiety lately and it doesn't seem to go away so easily anymore, you probably need to give a little more TLC to your boundaries.
Boundaries protect you, so if you don't have any set, you don't have any way to protect yourself and your stress and anxiety levels from continuing to increase.
5. You're Neglecting Your Hopes and Dreams
People who have a lack of boundaries tend to put other people's wants and needs before their own. While this may be okay every now and then, you can't expect to live this way all the time. You can't fill someone else's cup if yours is empty.
That means that you have to prioritize yourself and your own wants and needs before you can take care of someone else. When you take the time to take care of yourself, you'll have more time and energy to put into others. It's a win-win!
6. You Feel Lost
A lack of boundaries can also mean a lack of identity. Individuals who have difficulty setting and reinforcing boundaries may feel lost or lack purpose in the world. Having clear boundaries means checking in with yourself and looking inward to determine what you want and need. Communicating that to others can be validating towards a true sense of oneself.
Next Steps
If you're starting to think that you need to set boundaries in your relationship, it's a good sign that you should start. If you need help with this process, reach out today to set up a consultation for therapy for couples.