Often, there is so much focus on unhealthy, struggling relationships that many people never even stop to ask what a healthy relationship looks like.
Stop and think for a moment. Do you know that you’re not happy in your current situation, but not know what it would look like if your relationship were healthy? How would you define a healthy, solid connection?
Deep down, consider what you imagine a healthy partnership to be. Is it difficult for you to picture it? Why?
Signs of a Healthy Relationship
Understand that The Newness Wears Off
It’s very easy to forget, in the early months and years of a new relationship, that relationships change with time. The fact is, the excitement of newness will eventually wear down and run smack into conflict.
Personality quirks that drive you nuts will materialize Previously overlooked characteristics and habits may seem more and more unpleasant. Without a working definition of a thriving relationship as a guide, you may be at a loss when you run into relationship struggles.
Keep Each Other’s Number One
A defining aspect of a healthy relationship is that you are each other’s number one. You prioritize and value each other more than anyone else. You’ll give each other support, encouragement, and preference over others.
In essence, your friends, extended family, work, and other commitments don’t come before your partner’s needs. You can count on each other to maintain appropriate boundaries when it comes to other people and pursuits.
A Mutual Sense of Security Breeds Freedom
When you know that you hold a top place with each other, you’re able to stop wasting time worrying about your relationship. Instead, you each feel the freedom to be fully yourselves. Authenticity and vulnerability are not difficult in a loving environment.
Healthy interaction is easier because you know you’re accepted for who you are. The more freedom each of you has to be yourself, the healthier your relationship will be. As you live out your individual passions, you’ll find renewed energy for the partnership.
Understanding Each Other
Also, prevalent in healthy relationships is that each partner truly “gets” each other on a deep level. Your relationship is responsive and characterized by empathy and intimacy. You work at mindfully seeing and knowing each other. A commitment to paying attention to and developing a keen insight into the motivations and needs of the other is mutually important.
This allows you to be there for each other in real and meaningful ways. Learning to read your partner’s moods with compassion and deeper comprehension supports a highly functional and synergistic connection.
Communication
Of course, a deep understanding of each other won’t be possible if you don’t have authentic and consistent communication. Open, honest sharing is the foundational principle for all healthy relationships. Also, finding ways to navigate conflict and repair rifts productively is essential.
Most of all, practice active listening and let each other express emotions and needs respectfully and often. Strive to hear and understand without defensiveness or avoidance. Healthy couples use humor, physical intimacy, deep sharing, and more to ensure communication supports growth and longevity.
Building a Life Together
All couples assume they’re building a life together when they get married or commit to each other. But that isn’t necessarily the case. How intentional have you been about creating a shared focus and goal for your life together? What do you really want? Do you share those passions and values regularly?
Healthy relationships allow each individual the opportunity to grow into fulfilled versions of themselves. Healthy couples know that they’ve got each other’s backs. They’re in it together.
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Finally, do you recognize you and your partner as part of a healthy relationship? Are you hitting the mark on some points but not all on others? Or perhaps you can identify a lot of fraying edges in your connection?
If you’re struggling, I encourage you to read more about how I perform couples therapy and reach out for a consultation. I’ve worked with many couples over the years to help them create healthier, more resilient relationships. I am here to help.