Relationship trauma is a form of trauma that can occur in intimate or romantic relationships. This type of trauma takes place when a partner becomes abusive and creates a dangerous or unhealthy dynamic within the relationship.
Some of the most common causes of relationship trauma include emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, bullying, intimidation, gaslighting, stonewalling, and love-bombing.
Even if you were to break the cycle of relationship trauma and end or leave the relationship, this type of trauma can have long-lasting physical and psychological effects.
Let's learn more about the effects of relationship trauma and how to heal.
Communication Challenges
Unhealed trauma can make it extremely difficult to feel like you can express yourself. This can lead to dysfunctional communication patterns like accusing, arguing, becoming defensive, interrupting, insulting, or coming to irrational conclusions. Feelings of vulnerability and judgment can lead you to become evasive or shut down. None of these qualities are beneficial for healthy communication.
Difficulty Trusting Others
Trust is one of the main pillars of all relationships. Unfortunately, having difficulty trusting others is a common occurrence in partners who endure relationship trauma. Even if you experienced such trauma and escaped that relationship, you still carry a lot of those past feelings and interactions, including into new relationships. This might cause you to put up your guard and become suspicious of future partners.
If you run into a situation in which a new partner proves to be untrustworthy, it can unearth and exacerbate feelings relating to past trauma.
Trying to Fix Past Patterns
Despite how badly the trauma from a past relationship may have impacted you, it is not uncommon to fall into another similar type of relationship. Since this relationship impacted your life to such a great degree, it feels like familiar territory, possibly even natural. You could continue to repeat these patterns and behaviors; perhaps feeling you can fix past trauma by recreating situations and scenarios from it.
Flashbacks and Nightmares
Relationship trauma can cause flashbacks and even nightmares. Flashbacks are intrusive and vivid thoughts that relate to the traumatic situation. These flashbacks feel so realistic that they can make you feel like you’re reliving the traumatic experience all over again. Flashbacks can interrupt your daily life, while nightmares can cause disruptions in sleep schedules making it more difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep throughout the night.
How to Heal
Healing from relationship trauma takes time. When it comes to something like this, it's important to focus on making the necessary lifestyle changes. This ensures that you don't fall victim to a similar type of unhealthy relationship pattern. Here are a few things to focus on so you can start to form and build healthy relationships moving forward:
Be open and honest about your wants and needs
Eat a healthy and well-balanced diet
Aim for at least eight hours of sleep each night
Move your body for at least thirty minutes each day
Create an emotionally and physically safe environment
Participate in activities that make you feel relaxed, safe, and calm
Set and enforce boundaries
Lean on your loved ones
Next Steps
If you notice that the signs and symptoms you're experiencing are starting to impact your overall mental health and wellness or other areas of your life, you may want to consider working with a mental health professional. A mental health professional can help to provide a safe and secure space for you to be open and honest about your past relationship and how you can move forward past the trauma. Even though it may not feel like it now, healing is possible. Reach out today to learn more about couples therapy to get the proper treatment and support that you need and deserve.