Have you lost sight of yourself? Are you too focused on the needs, feelings, perceptions, and problems of those you care about? Do you wonder whether you can do anything to feel less resentful and drained by the people in your life?
When you struggle with codependency, it can feel uncomfortable or even wrong to meet your own needs. Even acknowledging your feelings or desires may make you feel uneasy.
In addition, you may avoid focusing on yourself because you don’t have a clue how to practice self-care in specific, practical, or effective ways.
Yet, to recover and heal from the fallout of unhealthy self-sacrifice, overwhelming obligation and frustrating fatigue, intentional self-care is a must. It is vital that you embrace your value and worth. Your own happiness matters.
So, what can you do? Which self-care strategies are most essential and doable?
Consider these key ways you can identify and fulfill your own needs:
5 Crucial Self-Care Strategies
1. Check In Often
Why? Because self-care isn’t about selfishness or indulgence. It is about telling yourself the truth about yourself, your feelings, and the impact of your relationship(s).
Don’t deny your needs. Approach them instead with your emotional wellbeing in mind. Practice listening to your body and recurring emotions rather than pushing them away.
Simply put, this is a process of slowing down and asking yourself these questions several times during the day:
Where does my mind drift repeatedly? Notice your thoughts.
How do I feel right now? Answer descriptively.
How is my body feeling? Pay attention to aches, muscle tension, and your breath.
This practice can help you gain some internal clarity. You may be suppressing or ignoring critical emotions for the sake of others. Awareness is a crucial part of self-care.
2. Do the Self-care Basics Faithfully
In some very basic ways, codependency convinces us to work against our common sense and our own best interests. You may find yourself staying up all night, skipping meals, or giving up well-deserved opportunities to ensure you are there for someone else. Codependent people often pay a high price physically as well as emotionally.
Unfortunately, too, you may find that despite your sacrifices, you end up feeling resentful, discontent, or burned out when the approval or validation you sought doesn’t materialize.
Self-care is the path to thriving and living well…not just surviving on a bare minimum of life’s necessities for the sake of someone else.
Your strategy moving forward must be to ensure a healthy mind-body balance. Try to incorporate the following:
Keep a consistent, manageable schedule
Choose mentally stimulating activities
Get outside for fresh air and perspective
Do more recreational and physically stimulating activities
Seek out safe friends and places to spend time
Be careful of overreaction, exhaustion, and perpetually pouring into others. Commit to a life that allows for nourishment and refreshment.
3. Save Some Kind Words for Yourself
Self-care is best accomplished if you believe that you are worth your own time and effort. Part of building that belief is showing yourself compassion and sensitivity through positive, affirming self-talk.
Do an inventory of the commentary you direct at yourself on a regular basis. Is it friendly and encouraging? Does it direct you toward healthy, safe decision-making?
No? Your self-esteem has likely been damaged by codependency.
Challenge your negative inner voice. Be kind to yourself. Consciously recite positive affirmations and test the accuracy of negative thoughts. Take time to analyze any beliefs that lead to self-criticism or the desire to cling to problem relationships. As you become more adept at listening to yourself, you’ll notice how your self-talk (good or bad) influences your emotions and behavior.
4. Practice “Detachment with Love”
Letting go is a self -care strategy that is difficult but necessary. Take steps to lovingly free yourself from a pattern of enabling or otherwise unhealthy interactions. Allow your loved one to resume responsibility for their own life.
Essentially, allowing yourself to untangle your emotions and needs empowers you. Learning to set boundaries and parameters on your relationship(s) is vital for your peace of mind and self-respect. You can then pursue your own happiness with the understanding that it is no longer dependent on others.
Of course, this won’t be easy. You’ll need support and guidance.
5. Share your Struggles
Your codependency is not shameful or a necessary secret. It’s just time to share your struggle and discover a new way to relate to others and yourself. Self-care needn’t be a solitary enterprise.
That’s why working through your codependency with the right people is an ideal self-care strategy.
Seek help with boundaries and perspective from a codependency counselor. It is also very important to connect with support group members. Sharing your codependency provides a means for working through guilt and securing a compassionate community interested in supporting your recovery and growth.
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Are you ready to start meeting your own needs? Please contact me soon for more information about codependency therapy, I’m here to help. Together we can work through ideas and strategies for taking better care of yourself and healing your relationships. I look forward to hearing from you soon.