If you’re like so many modern couples, your lives run at full speed, with little time to see each other between work, activities, kids, responsibilities, and more. Or, that is to say—your lives used to run at full speed. But living with the pandemic has possibly changed the pace of your life. It’s likely to have changed the way you live every day. All of sudden, the things that filled much of your days have been taken away, and you’re left having more time together than you’ve possibly ever had.
All of this time together has positives and negatives. But you can definitely use the time to reconnect with each other and deepen your relationship.
Lean on Me
We’re going through unprecedented times right now. There’s so much stress coming at us from all angles. One of the attractions of being part of a couple is that you have someone there you can talk with openly. Women especially often end up sharing more of their emotions with female friends than with their male partners, and this can be ok. But this is also a good time to lean emotionally on each other and draw encouragement from your closeness.
Us Time
Whether or not you’re furloughed, laid off, still working in an office or store, or working from home, life will give you plenty to fill your time. Make it a priority to plan special times together when you turn off devices, put down projects, and just focus on each other. Be mindful of the importance of hugs and humor during a bad day. And remember the power of small, kind gestures, like bringing someone a drink, giving them an encouraging word, and so forth.
Me Time
Of course, sometimes you can have too much of a good thing. All healthy relationships thrive when each partner is able to step away when they need to. If one of you is an introvert, this is doubly true. No matter how close you are, hours and hours together with anyone can easily lead to irritation and petty arguments. Sometimes a little break is the best thing you can do to reconnect.
Find Solutions
If you’re stuck at home together, it’s easy to get in each other’s way or on each other’s nerves when you’re working and doing projects (as so many retired couples can attest). Be calm and open about these issues. Work together to find solutions that will make it easier for each of you to do what you need to do.
Leave Home
Leave the house when you’re able. Nature has a powerful soothing effect. Try to get outdoors daily for a walk, a run, or even just to sit on your front steps to watch the clouds together. Sunshine and fresh air can provide a boost and positive change of mood. If you can’t do it together, do it on your own. You’ll be glad you did.
Help Each Other
Often, household chores fall mostly to one partner or are divided between certain tasks. But if you’re both at home, there will likely be more cooking to do and more dishes to wash. There’s still going to be laundry and probably extra cleaning. Remember to lend a hand to your partner. Work together or offer to do a chore for them. This can go a long way in easing irritation and resentment.
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It’s important to be gracious and gentle with each other during this time, as hard as it can be. If you find yourselves struggling and needing help, I’m offering teletherapy sessions via secure video connection. I encourage you to reach out to my office and read more about how I practice therapy for couples. I’ve worked with many couples over the years and, even in this time of social distancing, I can help guide you toward healing in your relationship.