Intimacy is a key part of all healthy relationships. It's the trust that is created after getting to know one another and spending more time together.
Intimacy means being able to share all of your various thoughts, emotions, and feelings with your partner, even if they may differ from their thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Intimacy also means that your partner is comfortable enough and supported by you to do the same.
Maybe you've never reached a level of intimacy with a partner before. Or maybe a past relationship ruined your trust and intimacy, and you're having a hard time opening yourself up to someone else again. Either way, intimacy doesn't have to be feared, and you can cultivate it in your relationship.
Here are 4 ways to allow yourself to be intimate.
1. Practice Authentic Self-Expression
Intimacy is only possible with trust and authenticity. It allows you to be vulnerable with a partner. You can start by cultivating a deeper understanding of your own feelings, boundaries, and desires. Practice expressing your true thoughts and emotions honestly, without judgment. It can be difficult to do, but judging yourself for how you think or feel can cause shame. And shame greatly hinders intimacy.
You can also practice authentic self-expression with your partner. You can share your dreams, fears, and boundaries with them. Trust and vulnerability can grow as they get to know you on a deeper level. It also allows your partner to open up as well, deepening the level of intimacy in your relationship.
2. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a great way to bring your body and brain back to the present moment. A lot of people struggle with intimacy because they're in their own head. They may be living in the past or worrying about future events that haven't even happened yet instead of living in the present moment. Mindfulness helps keep you grounded and centered, which can help someone feel more comfortable and allow them to open up a bit more. Here are a few of the various mindfulness techniques that you can try out to help you become more intimate:
Body scan
Deep breathing
Go for a walk outside
Gratitude
Meditation
Repeat a mantra
3. Create Shared Experiences
Sometimes, life can get in the way of intimacy. It can be easy to get stuck in a schedule or routine. We are all guilty of switching to autopilot in our home and work lives. When you feel like you're in a rut, creating shared experiences can help reignite the fire in your relationship.
Be intentional about creating rituals or engaging in activities that foster opportunities to bond and connect. That may include trying a new hobby together, traveling to unfamiliar places, or just being intentional about having meaningful conversations. Shared experiences can help create memories and emotions that strengthen the bond you have with your partner. By fostering closeness and mutual understanding, you are creating the space necessary for intimacy to grow and thrive.
4. Seek Professional Support
Sometimes, there are deeper problems that hold you back from being intimate. Past trauma or unhealthy relationships can prove a barrier too difficult to overcome alone. If you find it challenging to build trust and experience vulnerability, seeking professional help can allow you to find and heal whatever is holding you back.
While intimacy may seem scary, it doesn't have to be. We're here to help you navigate those uncomfortable thoughts and feelings and work towards being more intimate. If you want to learn more about how couples counseling can help you, reach out today for an initial consultation.