Whether you're in the dating scene or a relationship, there are certain qualities that everyone is looking for in their partner. No matter what your type is, these preferred qualities remain the same.
Open and honest communication. Kindness. Independence. Intimacy. Support. Love and affection. Trust. Respect.
These are just a few of the many different traits people look for in a partner and some of the many different signs of a healthy relationship.
But unfortunately, there are both healthy and unhealthy personality types, traits, and even types of relationships. Someone who is a narcissist may bring traits like arrogance, a lack of empathy, a sense of entitlement, and a preoccupation with beauty, power, and/or success.
Let's learn more about some of the effects that narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder can have on couples.
Codependency
Each person in a relationship has wants, needs, beliefs, values, goals, interests, hobbies, and more. But when a person develops a relationship with a narcissist, they may lose a sense of self over time and start to become dependent on their partner. This unhealthy dependence on another person in a relationship is known as codependency. Partners who are involved with narcissists tend to sacrifice their own wants and needs to appease their narcissistic partners and maintain their relationship together.
Love Bombing and Devaluation
The cycle of love bombing and devaluation is common among narcissists and relationships that are codependent. This cycle describes the pattern of behavior and manipulation that a narcissist will portray when they're in relationships. A narcissist tends to shower their partners with intense levels of attention and affection in the early stages of a relationship. Once the relationship is established, a narcissist will slowly but surely start to show their true colors. This is where the devaluation stage comes in. During this time, they will start to distance themselves, criticize, or degrade their partners.
Isolation
Narcissists crave control, so they'll try to cause riffs in their partner's personal relationships. Over time, they'll try to get their partners to withdraw from their family and friends through tactics like manipulations or gaslighting. These tactics will cause their partner to doubt themselves and their memories and start to look towards their narcissistic partners for validation and dependence.
Mental Health Challenges
Involvement with a narcissist doesn't just impact the way that a person acts or behaves in relationships, it can also affect their mental health. People who are involved in relationships with narcissists can see significant negative impacts on their mental health and wellness. Conditions like anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can develop over time.
Next Steps
Narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder are both considered unhealthy traits and relationship types. When it comes to relationships, there should be a balance between the partners who are involved. One partner shouldn't feel like they're constantly giving while the other is constantly taking. While it's amazing to feel supported by your partner and to be able to rely on them from time to time, they also shouldn't be your sole support system. You must have a balance of dependence and independence. If your relationship is showing signs of unhealthy patterns like those seen in narcissistic personality disorder, you're not alone. It is important to bring attention to those signs so that you and your partner can work to change them.
Working with a mental health professional individually, as a couple, or a combination of the two, can help you and your partner get on a healthier track moving forward either together or separately. Reach out today to learn more about how couples counseling can help you.